Like its English init…


So I’m walking down the High Street, about 25ft behind the two most elegant modern day ‘young ladies’ I’ve seen for a long while… 

The girls who were about 15-16yrs of aged and almost clone like… Same hair styles (one from a black bottle and the other from a blonde one), same Nike trainers, same tracksuit bottoms with the word ‘BENCH’ in large gold letters across the backside and, the same short crop padded jackets with fur hood with the word ‘HENLEY’ in pink on the back. 

I wasn’t eavesdropping or even trying to listen to their conversation, In fact I would have gladly missed it however; as they were talking ‘in confidence’ I suspect any one (at either end of the street) would have been party to the full content. 

The conversation went something like… 

So wassup Paige? It wer like totally oarsum like, me and Chell got like totally wasted… Wicked LOL.  I got me giro then went down tesco and got like a totally lush deal on sum blu wicked, dumped the kid wiv me mam and went round Kaylee’s. There was shots and Stella and Wayne fetched some voddy. After a bit we tried the club and got like totally hammered like. This chav said he was gonna shag me but I dint fancy im, he was like totally gross like. I gave Dazza a BJ in the bogs though. He’s so lush, fink I might let him move in wiv me soon. Best keep it low or else me benefits might stop and the sprog’s old man gives me fuck all. (Mobile rings – Paige shrieks out a squeal of joy) It’s Dazza, like awesome… Hey Daz, you up for it tomoz like? I’ll get Beffny to sit the sprog like and we can get like some gear before the party like? Lush…Laters. (Big shriek)  Like Daz is up for it, he’s got the hots for me, a few more BJs and I reccon we’ll be getting’ a bigger pad like off the housing… Best get him quick (rubs muffin top) then I can say this sprog is his like…Awesome, let’s head down DPs and get that pink sparkle top…Really shows my tits off… 

As they shuffled off towards Dorothy Perkins it got me to thinking… What has happened to the English language? Indeed, how is it that this apparent underclass in our society is becoming the norm and/or accepted? 

Firstly it has to be said that; our language (and society) undergoes a constant evolutionary process, always has and always will. If it didn’t, we would all be doing our bit to help complete the Canterbury Tales or banging on like a modern day Bard of Avon? That may be the case but is that evolution right or wrong and, can it be described as a decline or enhancement of standards? 

In my opinion there is a decline; one that can be directly attributed to our ‘freedom of expression’ education system. A process where often nothing is wrong, it’s just an alternate view. Where correct spelling is unimportant and grammatical errors are unheard of. Could this be a reason why so many young people find it difficult to complete job application documents, unless the employer considers text speak acceptable that is? 

Well here is my ‘alternative view’… If the inherent slovenly manner in which the youth of today does most things isn’t brought to check; we risk a decline in standards of such a monumental proportion, that there will be no return. 

Clothing that doesn’t fit correctly, dragging of feet, poor posture or unnecessary abbreviations and pseudo street slang are all evidence of the Kevin & Perry society we live in today. One where we are constantly bombarded with the ‘Am I Bovvered’ attitude of Lauren Cooper and which has continued to decline to a level where, any verbal communication is based upon a never ending torrent of explicative and mumble as per Devvo the Chav (warning this link contains strong language). 

It would seem that we as a society are happy to accept the above as normality and even funny? I’m not a prude, I like a laugh and joke and… I have even been known to offer the odd profanity myself (yes really). I actually see the humour of Harry Enfield and Catherine Tate (they are ‘normal’ people poking fun at the subject matter) but Devvo to my mind is a little different. His comedy comes across in a different manner and, you could be forgiven for assuming that young Mr Devonshire is actually just being himself. 

Although Devvo is (supposedly) a satirical fictional character he comes across as real and this is worrying because; he’s uneducated, he is generally incoherent, he is unable to communicate without effing & blinding and, promotes a lifestyle where you don’t have to work and you can spend your time indulging in excesses of alcohol, drugs, sex and petty crime. To substantiate this just witness his popularity on social networking sites like Facebook or count his YouTube hits. 

The rate at which ‘new’ words and/or slang arrive in the English language is fairly scary… According to The Urban Dictionary, there has been in excess of 4 million entries since 1999? According to the Oxford English Dictionary there is only about a quarter of a million distinctly English words. Perhaps that means that all the rest are just urban yooof shite?

If Devvo is the type of person that many of our kids find funny, normal and acceptable then what hope for the future? And, Perhaps Ali G as an MP meeting HRH The Queen was a indication of things to come and not just cynical humour? 

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