Young lady of class!


So I head out on my last ‘patrol’ of the day around 9.30pm. It’s not that I actually have any community portfolio since retirement however, my daily dog bladder relief duties have developed into running the gauntlet of foul mouthed, litter spreading drunken teenagers…

You know the ones… Skulking in the shadows (to avoid CCTV surveillance) whilst engaged in ‘quiet’ conversation that is perfectly audible from 500yds away. They’re bragging ‘confidentially’ to their mate about their latest sexual conquest (actual or contrived) whilst swigging away at their 10.5% ABV blue rocket fuel. They’re now well into their second 12 pack in their 2for1 £10 bargain purchased half an hour previously.

These days (unfortunately), most towns in Britain appear to have a gathering point or two for these acne laden cheep booze aficionados. Kids that often don’t actually like the alcohol but due to peer pressure, feel obliged to join their mate’s gang of ‘cool hard man’ puke vendors. The streets are covered in discarded broken booze bottles and shop door ways contain all manner of partially and fully consumed alcohol soaked take away meals.

This culture appears to be (strangely) acceptable to many (who should know better) and even worse is often glorified, perhaps even promoted (unintentionally) in late night TV entertainment these days… Bizarre?

As an aside, I also find it amusing that unbeknown to them; their personal preference for loud label laden clothing usually helps to identify them and makes them easy to pick out when they decide to do something wrong. But I digress…

So I approach the group of young ladies and gentlemen (menacingly jeering and blocking the whole of the path), and in an attempt to pass by I say excuse me… “Fuck off knob head” retorts one young orange skinned ‘lady’ in her 6 inch heels with all her backside and chest hanging out. She had probably spent hours applying her shoplifted bling and makeup before tottering out into the town to look for some unsuspecting youth who could get her pregnant and provide her with the ticket to ‘freedom’.

Once pregnant she could get her own flat from the housing association, like her “bessy mate” did. That was before “the coppers fitted her up for handling” (caught red handed with the proceeds of a house burglary committed by her then boyfriend) After all; she is “just like totally like misunderstood like by her mam. What’s wrong with a bit of blow? Anyways her new fella is like disgusting and a fucking peado”… Apparently?

I repeat my polite request in an effort to pass by as she adjusts the support structures of her 13-14yrs old chest to make it more visually prominent and then sneers “what you fucking looking at peado”? At this point the boy she has been puckering up to throws the contents of his booze filled belly all over the path and down her front…

Passing by this ‘class act’, eventually, I walked on into the crisp night air with the dog thinking; how nice it would have been to have so much fun when I was a teenager and, be such a respected and valued member of the youth community! Or, could it be that I have sucombed to the practice of social stereotyping? Check for an alternate view!

One thought on “Young lady of class!

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