Today I feel educated and full of intellect after visiting the local bakery.
Not because of the amazing array and diversity of continental breads. Nor was it because I had purchased some organically produced item that is; purportedly good for me, high in some trace element or other and, ‘helps to promote and develop cognitive thinking’.
No my feeling of intellectual superiority was enhanced by a member of staff… After waiting in the not inconsiderable queue, I handed my selection of two sandwiches over the counter and asked for a carrier bag in which to transport my lunch home… “Penny for the bag mate is that ok? It goes to charity you know”. I advised the young lady that I had no objection to the additional expense.
She beamed a broad smile (that fully displayed the inadequacies of her dental hygiene), rummaged in her pocket for a grubby half chewed pencil, grabbed a paper bag and then commenced a display of her miraculous command of mathematical equation. And all in her very best Egyptian Hieroglyphics.
Hummm… £2.00 for the Egg & Prawn, err £1.85 for the Ham Salad that’s err? Oh yes and a penny for the carrier bag… Err, that’ll be £3.87, oh sorry that’s wrong, err £3.86… Isn’t it?
The poor unfortunate girl in her early twenties, mopped her fevered brow took my £5 note. She then scurried off to the till, shouting “Five Pounds” to her colleagues and waving the legal tender above her head. To my utter amazement she returned with the correct change, smiled coyly and suggested that I “have a nice day”.
It’s obvious that today’s news about Sats Tests and the increase in standards is true. The girl is probably a graduate however; I wouldn’t even try to hazard a guess as to the subject she may have studied? And, the queue I refered to earlier was probably as long as it was due to all the scientific calculus being undertaken by the staff.
Oh yes… My reason for feeling educated was not because I felt superior, it was simply because I have finally found the true meaning of the term ‘Baker’s Dozen’: A descriptive and collective adjective used to describe a Thicket of Shop Assistants!